A Little Bit About Me:
I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a
year and a half ago, but looking back I have had symptoms of this curse all my
life. My first diagnosis was MS, but I now know that was false, but my mother
said when I was diagnosed with that I had symptoms all my life. Sadly enough, my
mother passed away before she could find out the true diagnosis was Fibro, and I
fit even more of those symptoms all my life.
My first memory of symptoms were at the very tender age of three, and even then I can recall always feeling so very tired. I could never get
enough sleep. I now know it was fatigue, but back then I was just called lazy, a
label that made me cry all my childhood because I didn't have anyone understand
me. This label would follow me and haunt me well into adulthood. One of the main
reasons my first marriage broke up was I was: “too lazy” to keep the house
clean. I also have been turned into welfare for how my house looked. I lost my
kids once, but thankfully I got them back after four months thanks to a doctor’s
diagnosis.
The next thing I remember was excruciating migraines or as I thought back then just a REALLY bad headache that made me want to throw up,hat came with flashing lights.
After being tested for a tumor and finding none I was called a liar, and
again I cried all through childhood.
I also remember always having pain or
numbness in my legs. Never once did I feel normal. My mother gave me iron and
lots of bananas when a doctor suggested I might have anemia and low potassium to
explain away my pain and weakness, and yet when they didn’t go away no one
questioned why.
Before I went to school my mother tried to
teach me my ABC’s and how to write and such, which I never was able to accomplish these simple tasks.Mom said I
would just sit there and look at her as if to say: “Screw you lady, I refuse to
do what you want.” I have always refused to believe a child of three could think like
that, but that story persisted throughout my life until she died. In school my mother was always told I had
trouble retaining what I had learned and that I was always day dreaming. An I.Q. test was given to see if I was
mentally challenged, and when the results came back negative no one could
explain why I was having trouble retaining what I learned. As for the day
dreaming I insisted I had not been day dreaming, but Mom insisted I had to have
been because teachers don’t lie. I was also told to knock it off. How do you
convince someone you’re not day dreaming?
I have since in my teens always had problems
with peeing my pants or emptying my bladder completely. I always think I'm done,
but all too often I am proven wrong. One time a few years back I was at a bus
stop and it looked like my bladder had burst. I couldn't stop the flow no matter
how hard I tried. I wound up in a puddle and hadn't even felt the urge to go. I
had to call my husband who was then my boyfriend, and have him bring me a change of clothes. Talk about
being embarrassed as all the other people waiting gave me disgusted looks and
quickly moved away. I also have trouble with my bowels. I can only empty my
bowels at the most every 2 weeks. Those times so much comes out I am sore for at
least 2 hrs. Perhaps that is TMI, but people need to know the
facts.
I have also had and will have until the day I
die depression. I was just told I was a mopey teenager and then later faking my
suicide attempts as just wanting attention.
When I got my first job I had to be on my feet
all day. After 1 hour I was hurting so bad I wanted to cry. My feet felt as
though I had walked over hot coals, and before they could cool off someone had
cut them open and was gouging the inside of my wounds. I was told by my doctor I would eventually get
used to it, but I never have, and the older I get the worse it gets, I also have
never been able to sit for more than an hour because my body starts to go numb
and then within ten minutes my body is locked up in agony. After I get up I can
barely walk for at least another week minimum.
I did go to doctors throughout the years, but
the doctors ALWAYS had an explanation for what was wrong, but oddly enough never
ran any tests on me. Maybe if they had things would have been different. Maybe
instead of being as bad off as I am now I might be at least able to function
most days.
My advice to any parent who suspects anything
is wrong with their child Fibromyalgia or not you need to become your child’s
champion. Don’t assume everything a doctor tells you is correct. Insist they run
tests and if they don’t then change doctors or get a second opinion. In doing so
you just may save your child from the miserable childhood I had to endure.
Until next time God bless,
Here
is a current photo of me:
