Dear Fibro,
I will dispel the pleasantries of asking how you are because you never seem to care how I am so why should I care how you feel.
I have found you're a literal pain in the neck, but then again you are a pain everywhere. There are days you come along and make everything from my hair to my toenails hurt.
I think it's fair to assume you want me to give up fighting you so you can do whatever you want to me, well I have news for you I NEVER will do any such thing.
You have robbed me of my ability to think, remember, feel good, have a career, and take care of my family the way I want to.
You even at one time had robbed me of my self esteem, but thankfully I believe in God, and and he gave my self esteem back. Out of all the things I lost he knew I needed that one the most because it would help me fight you against the others you have taken and are still trying to take away from me.
Your sense of humor is not even remotely funny. Making it hard to walk even a few feet, making me walk like I am drunk when I am sober, making me slur my words again like I am drunk when I don't even drink is NOT funny. You make me drop things I am holding while making me totally oblivious to that fact until I hear the object hit the floor. You make me run into walls by making me think I have enough room to round the corner and you have even made me trip over the air. As for the part where I have to wear protection t all times or I pee myself without ever having had the urge to go that's just cruel.
Good thing for me that I still have my sense of humor or I wouldn't ever want to show my face in public again.
I used to fear getting old because I was told you forgot things, sometimes had to wear diapers, and had lots of aches and pains. I am not in the diaper stage yet, and I don't intend to ever be so don't go getting any ideas. However, I no longer fear getting old because most days you make me feel like I'm pushing 100.
Even on a good day which is really a oxymoron because I no longer have such luxuries I feel at least 80. When my son graduated boot camp I felt such pride in him and was thrilled he wanted to spend all of his family day with me, and yet here you came I had to end the day in a wheelchair. I was so mortified, and yet my son never even batted an eye. I was a happy mom that day, but thanks to you putting me in a wheelchair I was kept from having a completely good day.
Now, my daughter is graduating high school next week. That high altitude Colorado has always makes you act your worst, but I am telling you here and now I intend to ignore you the whole time I am there. It's been a little over a year since I saw my family there and while you may be present I am going to do my best to block you out and be happy anyway.
Enough with all the negativity for Fibro you do have some positive things I can say about you. One is you have made me more compassionate toward others who hurt in any way because having experienced what I have experienced I don't want anyone else to go through it if I can help it. The next is the most important. You my dear nemesis are TEMPORARY!
That's right just for a little while. Someday either my spirit will leave this battered shell of a body you tortured, a cure will be found, or my Savior Jesus Christ will return on resurrection morning I will have a perfect body that will be free of you, and the best part not even remember you.
So do what you think you must, but just know Fibro one way or another you ARE going to lose. In the end only one of us will walk away the victor and that victor is NOT you, it's me.
Until next time God bless,
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